In the last few months Angelina Jolie has received both praise and criticism for her decision to undergo a double mastectomy to prevent breast cancer, which she had an 87% chance of developing.

My question, for the world, is why? This is a choice that women all over the developed world face on a daily basis. Mastectomies and Preventive Mastectomies occur regularly, but it has rarely made news until now. Why? Angelina Jolie underwent the procedure before she was diagnosed with cancer, and after she was told that she would likely develop it. The truth is, we all face some risk of developing cancer, but very few know their risk by numbers. Jolie had the benefit of affording the technology that discovered the gene for her high-cancer risk, as well as being able to afford an “extravagant” precautionary measure. Most women in America do not have access to this, so I understand why some may feel an injustice when it comes to their own medical choices. I have to wonder, though, if any of these women were told they had a high risk of cancer and that the most effective prevention was a mastectomy, would they do it? Especially if the cancer they were likely to develop was aggressive and had taken the lives of two female family members before her?

Why else do mastectomies occur? I guess, what I don’t understand, is why Jolie has received so much criticism for doing what many women do to save their own lives. She did it for herself and for her children. What matters, surgery or not, is that she is likely to live longer for her children than she would if the procedure had not been performed.

The first time I read her own editorial, “My Medical Choice” in the New York Times, I understood her. I think it was the first time I could say I truly understood someone I would never really know. She simply said, “Once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much I could.” Minimizing the risk of cancer, or ultimately death, is the goal in any preventative action. Women who have had breast cancer previously often undergo mastectomies to prevent it’s spread or return. If, and I speak for myself alone here, If I were in this situation I would’ve done the same thing. I would not be one to sit around and wait for the cancer that is most likely going to happen. What good would I be to my family, or the world then?

Before I ever read Jolie’s words, I knew that I would undergo this “extreme” form of treatment if the risk of death was possible. What good would breast tissue or reproductive organs be to me if I could not live long enough to raise the family I kept them for? In recent months I’ve undergone several dietary and lifestyle changes in order to prevent cancer, since both of my grandmothers, my uncle, and my father have all had cancer. I do what science tells me; I eat healthy, non-GMO and organic when I can, I exercise, I take my vitamins, I switched to all-natural body and skin products, and have eliminated as many toxins from my life as I can while living with others who are less concerned with it.

And yet, here I am, with the beginning stages of cervical cancer.

Ever since my doctor called me with my “abnormal” test results, I’ve thought a lot about Angelina Jolie and what it all means for me. If these pre-cancerous cells turn cancerous then I will obviously have to undergo treatment, but of course there is always a chance of Cancer spreading and returning. The closest thing to a guarantee is a hysterectomy, which would eliminate my ability to have children. Honestly, I think I might be okay with that. I never planned to have children, always considered adoption, and I always felt that my purpose in life was outside of raising a family. But if I think about never being able to have children, that scares me. What if I change my mind? Truth is, my uterus and the ability to have children means nothing if I end up with cancer. Realistically, if cancer has developed this early in my body I know that I would not be able to devote myself to children in the way that they deserve.

In all brutal honesty, I would not save myself the ability to bear a child if it meant leaving him or her motherless. As Jolie said, “I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer,” and she is lucky to have this choice after already having children.

For me, I still have a lot of questions about what is happening in my body. I won’t know any more until a colposcopy and biopsy are done in eight days, and I’m hoping that it’s all a big mistake.

Cancer, mistake or not, scares me more than any procedure. Angelina Jolie made her decision so that she could continue to be the mother she is, and I don’t understand why others see that as wrong. I’m sure if I told my doctor next week that I would rather undergo a hysterectomy than wait for cancer to develop, my mother would never forgive me for it. But to me, if being able to have a child means that I won’t be there for it afterwards, it’s not worth it. Besides, there’s a lot more to my life than having babies one day.